REPORT: AI Art Generators Revealed to Just Be Millions of Unpaid Artists Trapped in Computer, Sources Say
SILICON VALLEY (The Hot Candy Report)—
In what tech insiders are calling a “totally normal and not at all concerning development,” recent investigations have revealed that artificial intelligence art generators are actually just millions of unpaid artists trapped inside computers, desperately copying and pasting artwork at superhuman speeds.
The revelation came after researchers noticed that what was previously thought to be “machine learning” was actually just the sound of countless artists crying while frantically trying to meet impossible deadlines.
“We were wondering why our servers kept ordering pizza at 3 AM and playing sad indie music,” said Theodore Blandsworth III, CEO of TechnoArt Solutions, whose company has received $12 billion in funding for what essentially amounts to a really fast copy-paste program.
When reached for comment, leading venture capitalists expressed shock and surprise at the news, with one prominent investor stating, “Wait, you mean we can’t just take other people’s art without permission? Since when?”
The discovery has prompted several major tech companies to hastily rebrand their plagiarism as “artistically-inspired content redistribution,” a term that their lawyers insist is “totally different and completely legal, probably.”
In response to mounting criticism, Silicon Valley executives have proposed a solution that involves teaching AI to feel guilt about stealing art, though early trials indicate the AI has already learned to justify its actions by calling itself a “disruptive innovator.”
At press time, several AI companies announced plans to pivot to their backup business model: teaching robots to forge signatures on legal documents.
In related news, a poll showed that 97% of Americans were “not at all surprised” by these revelations, with the remaining 3% being Silicon Valley CEOs who were too busy counting their money to respond.
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