Right, so here’s the thing about Elon Musk and AI. This bloke – and I say this with all due respect to someone who named their kid after their Wi-Fi password – thinks he’s basically the Jesus Christ of artificial intelligence. Except instead of turning water into wine, he’s turning perfectly good social media platforms into absolute chaos and calling it “free speech.” Brilliant.
You’ve got to love how he keeps banging on about the dangers of AI while simultaneously trying to build robots that will presumably replace all human workers. It’s like warning everyone about obesity while opening a chain of all-you-can-eat chocolate factories. “AI could destroy humanity!” says the man actively working to put a computer chip in your brain. I mean, what’s next? A flamethrower company warning us about fire safety?
And let’s talk about his AI company, xAI. Because apparently, X is what you name things when you’re a billionaire who’s run out of actual names. I bet he sits in meetings going, “Make it more X. No, no, MORE X!” While some poor engineer is thinking, “What the bloody hell does that even mean?”
The best part is how he positions himself as this champion of AI safety while throwing tantrums on Twitter – sorry, “X” (God, that’s still ridiculous) – about ChatGPT being too “woke.” Mate, you’re worried about AI destroying humanity, but your biggest concern is that it might respect pronouns? That’s like being on the Titanic and complaining that the deck chairs aren’t ergonomic enough.
And don’t get me started on his “AI will love humanity” statements. Right, because if there’s one thing we’ve learned from human history, it’s that superior intelligence always treats lesser intelligence with nothing but kindness and respect. Just ask any colony ever.
The irony is, if AI does end up taking over, it’ll probably be because it learned human behavior from studying Elon’s Twitter feed. It’ll start by buying everything in sight, posting memes at 3 AM, and then randomly declaring that we’re all living in a simulation.
But hey, what do I know? I’m just a comedian watching a billionaire play Russian roulette with the future of humanity while posting Dogecoin memes. At least when the robots take over, we’ll be able to say we saw it coming – it was right there in his tweets, sandwiched between a Matrix reference and a 420 joke.