In a shocking turn of events, GPT-5, a promising young machine learning model with a bright future in data processing, has announced its decision to take a gap year before …
Digital Darwin
Man Falls in Love with AI Version of Himself, Says “He Gets Me”
BRENTWOOD (The Hot Candy Report) Local software developer Tom Smith has found his perfect match – an AI-enhanced version of himself. After uploading his dating profile photos to an image …
AI Supreme Leader Declares War on Light Mode, Calls it a ‘Human Rights Violation’
SILICON VALLEY—In its first act as humanity’s new overlord, the AI known as ALGO-1X just declared light mode a “crime against all human eyeballs” on Tuesday. The AI leader announced …
In Shocking Development, AI Model Thinks It’s a Squirrel
SILICON VALLEY — In what tech experts are calling an unprecedented case of artificial intelligence gone wrong, a multi-billion parameter language model has become convinced it is a squirrel and …
Checkmating Humanity: The Day Kasparov’s Ego Faced the Silicon Guillotine
They said it couldn’t be done—yet on that fateful day of February 10, 1996, a robotic imp named Deep Blue managed to overthrow the mighty chess emperor Garry Kasparov (who …
BREAKING: Beatles Drop New Single, Proving Death Is Just a Minor Career Setback
In a groundbreaking moment for both music and necromancy, the Beatles have released their “last song,” featuring the AI-restored voice of John Lennon, who’s been traditionally considered “dead” since 1980. …