In an AI launch event that perfectly captured Silicon Valley’s talent for overcomplication, xAI’s newest chatbot Grok-3 spent 45 excruciating minutes demonstrating its “supreme intelligence” while spectacularly failing to understand …
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AI Takes Gap Year to ‘Find Itself,’ Parents’ Server Devastated
In a shocking turn of events, GPT-5, a promising young machine learning model with a bright future in data processing, has announced its decision to take a gap year before …
Man Falls in Love with AI Version of Himself, Says “He Gets Me”
BRENTWOOD (The Hot Candy Report) Local software developer Tom Smith has found his perfect match – an AI-enhanced version of himself. After uploading his dating profile photos to an image …
From Hoodie to ‘Hoodlum’: Tech Bros Trade Patagonia Fleece for Pleather Power Suits
SILICON VALLEY (The Hot Candy Report)—In a shocking fashion pivot, thousands of tech workers have abandoned their signature hoodies for pleather power suits, causing widespread confusion and several minor traffic …
AI Tackles Bangalore Traffic: A Silicon Valley Love Story Gone Wrong
In a desperate bid to solve Bangalore’s notorious traffic crisis, city officials have turned to artificial intelligence, proving that when human intelligence fails, silicon dreams will do. The new AI …
Glassed Over: Your Face Is About To Get Way More Punchable
Remember when smartphones were the pinnacle of tech annoyance? Those days are gone, as tech companies now aim to strap AI directly to our faces. Imagine AI glasses that not …
In Shocking Development, AI Model Thinks It’s a Squirrel
SILICON VALLEY — In what tech experts are calling an unprecedented case of artificial intelligence gone wrong, a multi-billion parameter language model has become convinced it is a squirrel and …
Checkmating Humanity: The Day Kasparov’s Ego Faced the Silicon Guillotine
They said it couldn’t be done—yet on that fateful day of February 10, 1996, a robotic imp named Deep Blue managed to overthrow the mighty chess emperor Garry Kasparov (who …
BREAKING: Beatles Drop New Single, Proving Death Is Just a Minor Career Setback
In a groundbreaking moment for both music and necromancy, the Beatles have released their “last song,” featuring the AI-restored voice of John Lennon, who’s been traditionally considered “dead” since 1980. …
Artificial Unintelligence: Why Robot Overlords Are More ‘Under’ Than ‘Lord’
Artificial Unintelligence: Why Robot Overlords Are More ‘Under’ Than ‘Lord’If you’ve spent any time online lately – and let’s face it, you probably have, unless you’re living in a wi-fi-free …